February 2012
I love waking up on Saturdays.
I can always smell bacon and sausages.
Here come the drunk statuses from people just getting home.
I wish they’d stop showing King Of The Hill.
It sucks sweaty balls.
Just give me American Dad and Family Guy!
Too late to change things now.
Beer me.
I don’t even know what I’ve done with the past four years of my life.
I’ve been drunk 90% of the time.
Addicted to this LOTR wiki.
Can’t. Stop. Reading.
So many cookies.
It’s funny when people inform you how stretched their ears are on their about me page.
1 tag
“Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.”
- Ron Swanson
The unrelenting urge to titty fuck Katy Perry whenever you see a picture/video of her…
Seriously close shave.
Surprised there’s any skin left on my face.
It’s a Friday and I’m drinking by myself again.
Y ALL MAH FRIENDS MOVE AWAY JUST AS I MOVE BACK?!
Running out of beer is never a good thing.
TO THE STORE!
Anyone ever notice how fast Gandalf can run?
Yo pussy stank.
I think I’ve watched LOTR about 40 times in the past six weeks.
I always like going south. Somehow, it feels like going downhill.
The time of the Elves is over.
Thanks Mr. Snow Plow Man.
We walk out to the car to get pick up pizza and find 2 feet of slush piled up at the foot of the drive.
CUNT.
Typical..
You decide to clear the snow because it’s stopped, and then it starts all over again.
FUUUUU.
Suppose I had best go clear the snow so the children don’t hurt themselves walking 50 feet from the bus stop to their homes…
I can’t stand people who moan about Facebook.
Who gives a fucking shit if someone updates their status 44 times a day, it’s not like you’re paying for the service. I love how people have a sense of entitlement over something they’ve contributed nothing towards.
Oh, I’m sorry. Is it hard work having to scroll down for an extra 2 seconds? That must be so taxing on...
Sober thoughts.
I’d rather not leave bed today.
On top of a broken knee; feels like my inside are trying to escape. I can’t even lay on my side.
WHY IS ALL THE WHISKEY GONE?!
:(
Another Football post...
So glad Pearce has left Lampard and Ferdinand out of the England squad. It’s about fucking time, they’re both useless.
It’s about fucking time Richards was given a proper run-out.
I’d love to see Richards, Smalling, Cahill and Walker as a starting back four.
Johnson, Parker, Gerrard and Jones in the middle.
And then Rooney and Campbell upfront. Campbell is a gamble,...
I want Prof. Brian Cox to tuck me in at night.
Craving pasta and meatballs….
Is it too late to cook it?
Tits.
Fuck yeah!
Didn’t realize the mother had brought home six boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just bought a sweet shag rug for when I move out.
I have no idea where I’m going to put all this crap.